What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
09.06.2025 06:53
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
TEXT:
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In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
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Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
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Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Make Nazis afraid again!
What do you think of Obito Uchiha?
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
How did you get to be a leftist?
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
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After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
What are some things that normal people do that religious people call sins?
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Why am I so jealous towards couples? Why am I tired of being single and feel my life is over?
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Why is Eric Clapton so roundly disliked among guitarists?
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
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Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.